A couple things have happened since I last spoke to you. 

• Ben came home, texted me at 4 in the morning and said unless you’re awake now, I probably won’t see you this time around. He then said, “Sorry for being a dick ‘nd stuff.” Good job, coward, you apologized. So I didn’t see him. Which is for the better. I have been avoiding stalking him on facebook or twitter and I’ve been doing well. He thinks only of himself. So that is that. 
• I cuddled with Elijah Saturday night. It wasn’t much, and I pestered him to do it, but it felt right. It has always felt right with him. We kiss well together, we’re both the not super skinny attractive friend, we are assholes on the surface but truly loving down below. I don’t know. I am not expecting anything, anything at all. But I do like to hope sometimes. 
• I don’t have any motivation to do anything. I hate school and avoid my homework at all costs. I am sick and tired, but I end up staying up until the wee hours of the morning finishing my homework because I avoided it after school. I don’t know where this apathy is coming but I’ve felt it before. And I hate it. 
• When speech is over, I hope to spend a lot more time at the local college with my friends. More drinking, more smoking, more living. 

That is all for now, I think. I’ll be quite busy this week. But then I will be free. From it all.